How to Move Past the Money Mind Trap of Shaming
Money shaming is a generational, learned response that often pops up as women achieve financial success (and talk about it). Those around us, from our partners to friends to families to even clients, often react harshly to you talking about money. They may criticize you for speaking about money, or about what your revenue is, or what your gross sales have been. Basically, you are criticized for celebrating the money you are making. This criticism can set you back in your mindset and this article will talk about how to recognize it and move through it.
A Powerful Mindset Glitch
This happens because there are so many mindset glitches and shame around money. Limiting belief systems around money such as: you are not supposed to talk about it, or you are not supposed to want it, or you are not supposed to think about positive things about it. Or worse, that you’re greedy and trying to outdo others because you’re striving for independent financial success.
I’ve experienced this in my own business as I started to do really well. At first, I was actually really ashamed to post any of my financial accomplishments publicly on social media. I thought it was private and should stay private. I didn’t want to make people jealous or envious and I didn’t want to get criticism. I wanted to just be perceived as a nice person and I wanted to keep things light.
But at some point, in my money-making journey, I started to look at my own mindset glitches and my own issues over money. I started to examine the why behind me not speaking about money publicly. I saw that on my path of helping women be successful entrepreneurs I needed to show them how to embrace money. How to be proud of their accomplishments and not be afraid to share this with the world. So, I made a decision and started posting about money and what my sales were in my business, not all the time but occasionally.
Personal Pushback Changed My Mind
One day, I made a big announcement that I had passed the one-million dollar mark. And soon afterwards, my husband went out for dinner with a friend. His friend said to him, “I’m really not sure if I should bring this up but I saw Leslie’s post on Facebook about her business sales and how she was talking about it. I didn’t know that she was that kind of a person.” That kind of person.
Luckily my husband came back and told me this and I am very happy he told me this because it was an incredible example of money-shaming. A clear-cut instance of someone criticizing me for the celebration of my own success.
I realized then and I want you to know now: this is a them problem, not a you problem! We know as women entrepreneurs that we have worked very hard for every success. Against all odds we’ve built businesses and created our own financial independence. When the shade comes at you, remember it’s because that person has issues around money. They have a negative money mindset. They think you should be quiet about it, that you should be secretive. And they likely learned this from their parents or others growing up. Their reaction truly has nothing to do with you!
I really believe for women to get out of these mind traps, especially those around money, it’s critical to determine what your thoughts are telling you and avoid falling into the habit of not celebrating your own success. Whether your big moment is passing $100K, hitting a revenue goal, or even making it past the 6-figure mark, talk about it! Shout it from the social media rooftops! When you do, other women learn that they can do it too.
Growth Starts with You
I’d also like to point out that sometimes we are the culprit of delivering the money shame. And often it’s unintentional, sometimes we say things before thinking and criticize others’ successes. If that’s happened to you, first apologize and make it right and then examine why you said/thought that. Do you have some unresolved issues or mindset glitches around money? Because if you do, it’s holding you back too!
We need to free ourselves from this money shaming in order to really grow and to expand and to have all that we want and all that we deserve.
Want more women-centered business advice from someone who’s done it herself? Be sure to subscribe to our newsletter here so you’ll always get the latest news.
Who is Leslie Kuster?
I became a 7-figure woman entrepreneur in my 50s -- with my successful Back from Bali clothing brand! It took some getting real with myself to finally say, “Damn it, I want money!” Now I am here to ignite women entrepreneurs -- like you -- to experience the empowerment, independence and joy of creating a business that brings you both money and freedom. Read more about my story here.